Adoption and Our Grandchild
An unplanned pregnancy often has a considerable effect on both grandparents and parents. While the decision is ultimately your child's choice, you may play an important role in your child's decision-making process by offering guidance and support. When adoption is the choice, it is important that you understand what this decision can mean for your child and grandchild.

Types of Adoption Plans
Many expectant parents choose an open adoption plan, which generally means that the birth and adoptive parents meet, exchange identifying information, and plan to have some level of ongoing contact-contact that varies with each plan. The relationship that develops between birth and adoptive families, and the trust that follows, are central to successful open adoption plans.

However, some expectant parents want the assurance that their child is doing well with the adoptive family, but they feel that ongoing contact is more than they want. This type of adoption plan is referred to as a semi-open adoption.

Finally, some expectant parents want their child to know their birth history but without identifying information or ongoing contact. These are commonly referred to as confidential adoption plans.

Choosing Adoptive Parents
Expectant parents can choose the adoptive parents for their child by looking through profiles that adoptive parents create. Expectant parents may also choose to meet the adoptive couple to confirm their decision and to begin to build a relationship with the couple. Your child may want to involve you in that process of choosing adoptive parents.

Staying in Touch
When birth and adoptive families choose the type of adoption plan they prefer, they also make decisions about the type of ongoing contact. It is important to remember that, like other relationships, adoptions are dynamic and can change, grow, and develop over time. But, in the end, the plans center on what is going to be best for the child that they all love.

Peace of Mind
"We are totally at peace with our daughter's decision for adoption. It was a difficult decision for her-more than it was for both of us, but is was very wise." ~ Jeff and Nancy, birthgrandparents

Grief and Loss
Regardless of your child's decision regarding her pregnancy, there will be loss for you as well as your child. An open adoption may reduce that loss but will not eliminate it. Grief and loss are normal reactions and do not make the adoption decision a wrong one. You will likely want someone to talk with about your feelings as you work through your own sadness and grief. After all, this is your grandchild, and while you want the best for your child and your grandchild, letting go is not easy.